Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Rushing into Things

Hey Clickers!

It's been a minute since I last talked to you guys, I'm sorry about that.
I wanted to write about something that has been going on in my life recently.

So, normally I try to look past lovey-dovey things like relationships because, like everyone else, I've had my heart broken multiple times.
When I have relationships, they are not the 2-month kind where it's just for kicks. My relationships had been the 9 months to 2 years kind of thing. I like to try and take my time getting to know the person I'm with.  What I hate is that I spend so much energy on this person, just to let them go. After my last relationship, I gave up on relationships.  I was tired of being with people who didn't respect me as much as I respected them.  I took this time to focus on myself and grow as a person. This turned into a 2-year hiatus.

Recently, I found that I wanted to get back into something steady. I knew what I wanted and I was sure I was going to get it.

There was this person who I thought was really cool and easy on the eyes. They met the standards that were deal breakers and had a great personality. I was content with pursuing them. I found out later that they felt the same about me and I was ecstatic.  Things never worked out quite that quickly.  I tried looking past it, hoping that life was throwing me a bone, just cause it's the holiday season.

Anyways, I got to hang out with the person a little while ago and talk to them about what was (possibly) going on between us.

It was in this moment that I feel like I messed up.

 I told them I wanted a relationship, just something steady. I saw uncertainty cloud their eyes. They paused and said they wanted to see where things went. Totally reasonable and understandable right? Get this, I kept talking about it after that. For some reason, I had diarrhea of the mouth that day.  I kept hinting at future dates and parties I could invite them to... I cringe just thinking about it.

Here's the gag, we hadn't even gone on a date yet. Yep, way to go Jae.

Now here we are, a week later with radio silence.

I definitely rushed this whole courting thing...

I'll let you guys know if there are any change or developments.

-Jae

P.S. The next post will not be as cringy and odd! 

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