Ruined Christmas?

You know what's the worst?

Being sick during the holidays.

Randomly, 5 days before Christmas, I came down with a severe cold. Making me useless until after Christmas. I couldn't go and get gifts for the family. Of course, they understood that I was in no condition to be driving anywhere but, I really wanted to get them presents this year. I practically ruined Christmas... for myself. My family was doing just fine.

Now I know I didn't ruin Christmas or anything, that would be a horrible exaggeration but, admittedly, I did feel a little bad.

Watching my parents and my sister open gifts from each other and express gratitude, appreciation, and love for the thoughtfulness made me feel like I haven't done enough. In the season of giving, I did not want to only receive gifts.

Well, I can't pity myself forever.

I have made a plan for next Christmas. I will make sure my immune system is strong for the winter and I will go out and get amazing presents for my family. Simple but, obtainable.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, I'll make sure to post before the new year.

-Jae

Danielle LaPorte and her #TruthBomb

Hey Clickers,

Here's something interesting.

Recently, my mother found herself in yoga and this thought leader, Danielle LaPorte. Earlier this year we went to Wanderlust, Hollywood to see her speak. While my mother was enthralled with her speech taking down her wisdom with a pen and paper I, on the other hand, was not as impressed. Honestly, I've never been into the whole "motivational" speaker gig. Why pay someone to tell me something I already know? I digress.

Anyways, when we returned home my mother had bought Danielle's book, The Desire Map, and two boxes of cards called Truth Bombs.  She had a pink box and a gold box that held inspirational quotes.

For a couple of weeks, she read the book but, did not touch the cards until last week. She decided to pull one card from one box everyday.  One day it was the gold box, the other it was the pink and she alternated. This week she asked me to pick a card from the box with her. I agreed and picked a random card from the deck. I read it and found that the saying had a lot to do with what was going on in my life. I decided to pick from the other box and found that it had another profound statement applicable to my life.

So now, I've been picking two cards a day, one from the gold and another from the pink box.
Today my gold card said:
"Pay closer attention to your fantasies"
              I found this intriguing because recently I've been trying to build up my brand and my presence on the internet. There is a lot that's going into it and I think that I should start looking at the smaller details of this big plan.
The pink card said:
"You don't need their approval"
              This really struck me because, I've struggled with wanting/not wanting other people's approval. Human nature, I guess.  Currently, I'm conflicted on whether or not I should act on my emotions although it might upset a few of my friends. Although, I'm still conflicted, this card gave me a little push to think about it some more before I just jump into a decision.

Over this week these cards have been insightful and inspiring. I guess I had a small change of heart. This doesn't mean I'll live by her words and get into her books and such. I'll just take into considerations what these cards say, if they have something good to say.

You guys should check her out for yourselves and see what you think! I linked her website to her name.

-Jae

Side Note

Hey clickers,

This is just a shameless plug for my review on my other blog, Click to Start.

I reviewed the game Turmoil!!

I hope you guys check it out!! Click here to see it!

-Jae

Rushing into Things

Hey Clickers!

It's been a minute since I last talked to you guys, I'm sorry about that.
I wanted to write about something that has been going on in my life recently.

So, normally I try to look past lovey-dovey things like relationships because, like everyone else, I've had my heart broken multiple times.
When I have relationships, they are not the 2-month kind where it's just for kicks. My relationships had been the 9 months to 2 years kind of thing. I like to try and take my time getting to know the person I'm with.  What I hate is that I spend so much energy on this person, just to let them go. After my last relationship, I gave up on relationships.  I was tired of being with people who didn't respect me as much as I respected them.  I took this time to focus on myself and grow as a person. This turned into a 2-year hiatus.

Recently, I found that I wanted to get back into something steady. I knew what I wanted and I was sure I was going to get it.

There was this person who I thought was really cool and easy on the eyes. They met the standards that were deal breakers and had a great personality. I was content with pursuing them. I found out later that they felt the same about me and I was ecstatic.  Things never worked out quite that quickly.  I tried looking past it, hoping that life was throwing me a bone, just cause it's the holiday season.

Anyways, I got to hang out with the person a little while ago and talk to them about what was (possibly) going on between us.

It was in this moment that I feel like I messed up.

 I told them I wanted a relationship, just something steady. I saw uncertainty cloud their eyes. They paused and said they wanted to see where things went. Totally reasonable and understandable right? Get this, I kept talking about it after that. For some reason, I had diarrhea of the mouth that day.  I kept hinting at future dates and parties I could invite them to... I cringe just thinking about it.

Here's the gag, we hadn't even gone on a date yet. Yep, way to go Jae.

Now here we are, a week later with radio silence.

I definitely rushed this whole courting thing...

I'll let you guys know if there are any change or developments.

-Jae

P.S. The next post will not be as cringy and odd!